Zaphod's Deepest Thoughts

Pepsi Yawn and Snickers Emo

Okay, how many of you have almost damaged your radio due to the Diet Pepsi Yawn commercial?

Anyone hear of any vehicle accidents caused by sleeping drivers pushed into sleep by Pepsi Yawn?

No, I am not going to post the real name of the product here, as that would boost popularity in some engines. I love Pepsi, but think their latest idea to sell what actually tastes like a real good new product, BLOWS! It's almost enough to send me out for a bottle of Coke. But no, I won't drink Coca Cola... it really is the choice drink of crankers. Really, I am not kidding. How many hackers do you know that drink Pepsi! Now how many ex, and current dope addicts do you know that greedily suck down Coke? Think about it.

Now onto bashing Snickers, and their new product commercial. Now, as time goes on, it will be no secret I hate emos. I am clinically depressed and am of the opinion all emos are faking it, or are depressed by the fact they are gay, and can't come to grips with it. For god sakes, I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself. This new commercial for snickers is such an annoyance, that I can't even remember the name of the new product.

It goes a little like this: Some poop-head emo gets offered a snickers something-or-other energy bar, and tries it. Now the 1st part of the commercial that annoys me happens, he unwraps it loudly, and eats and swallows it very loudly. These bodily sounds are gross when amplified, and only George Carlin could make them "not gross". Sadly, no company is hiring George lately (HINT).

Next the emo pipes up and says "Hey! I am not hungry anymore, feel energetic, and the loneliness is gone............ Oh wait, there's the loneliness." (or words to that effect). I am now groaning and hollering epithets at the radio so loud I don't hear the end of the commercial, and could care less.

Remember in Pink Floyd's "The Wall", where all the carbon-copy kids were marching into the meat grinder to become the regular pulp of society? I think we had a glimpse into a cure for emos right there, in a more literal sense. Put them out of our, and their collective misery... and feed some pigs at the same time.

Get a clue Snickers. Emos don't have money, and can't afford your product. Why not try an upbeat commercial, with some good data about your product in it, and present it in a clean, appealing fashion. I certainly wouldn't buy food that had anything to do with a lice infected emo (notice the head scratching?), and neither should you.

Zap!
(Climbing off the soapbox again!)